To Oom It May Koncern,

I’ze writin diz letta to rekomend da 'oomie Chris Hewish fer a job witz Games Workshop. He’z a tuff 'oomie who juzt graderated frum univerzity looken fer da job. He be gud to have on yer teem. 

Me normaly dusn’t like 'oomiez and me did try ta kil diz one when we firzt met. But he werked so ard to win, and kicked me so ard in da belly dat he busted it open. Diz be why dey now calz me Big Boss Belly Busta. It still urtz when i laff. He showed iz tuffness and won fair n square, so now i help him. 

Chris alzo be gud wit makin gamez. He gotz gud trainin at sum place kalled The Toy Soldier, where he worked and ran gamez fer yerz. He’z made sum gamez fer me and da boyz to play, when we’ze not bashin on each uter. 

I dontz know you, but Chris sayz yer kompany iz da best. So don’t delay talkin wit him, or me and sum ‘ard boyz gunna have a talk wit u. And beleve me, u don’t wantz dat. 

Bezt,

Big Boss Belly Busta